Glossary of Mail Order Bride Advertising Terms (And What They Really Mean)

My June release Undercover Bride is a mail-order bride story with a twist.  Some of the advertisements that appeared in the mail order bride catalogs were a hoot and it took a clever man to know how to decipher them.  Here’s a key that might have helped :

* Eager to learn—can’t cook; can’t sew; can’t clean

* Accomplished—can ride, shoot and spit like a man

* Modest dowry—poor as a church mouse

*Loving nature—keep her away from the ranch hands

*Traditionally built—you may wish to reinforce the floors

*Matrimonially inclined—working on husband number three

*Maternal—has six children and one on the way

*Possesses natural beauty—don’t be fooled by the false hair, cosmetic paints or bolstered bosom

*Industrious—give her a dollar and she’ll figure out how to spend ten

*Young looking—doesn’t look a day over sixty.

*And they lived happily ever after—AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.